Shaming vs. Violation Jokes

As a prelude to this blog post, I should probably mention that through interning with the Feminist Majority Foundation, I've been reading a lot of feminist blogs, in order to write more blogs. (This post will probably appear soon on the FMF Campus blog--when it does, I'll include the link.) Since my formal education has been primarily focused on International Political science and Anthropology, reading all these blogs is doing wonders for my knowledge of matters of importance to women. Now, I've always considered myself a feminist, ever since that boy in first grade told me I couldn't crush a milk can like he could, and suggested using violence to prove his supposed male superiority, but I've generally pursued feminism from my personal--and what I know now, rather uninformed--vantage point. I think describing all the things I've learned would involve reposting all the blogs I've read in the last few months, so I'll let it suffice to say that I've become aware of some of my handicaps in understanding, and will be more actively pursuing understanding a wider variety of vantage points/types of feminism.

There are a few new terms I've learned. first: "Slut-shaming;" that is, publicly or privately insulting a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women. Slut shaming re-enforces the virgin/whore myth of female identity--women are either virgins and, like their virginity, are worth protecting; or, they are whores, and because their hymen has already been broken its okay to break their spirit or their bodies through psychological or physical violence. Slut-shaming is pretty much everywhere (even on twitter), but the two most prominent examples I can think of recently include attacks of Carrie Prejean for a masturbation tape, the disgustingly prominent response that Rhianna deserved to be beaten by Chris Brown, and the weird belief that somehow Miley Cyrus is the worst thing that happened to Hollywood

Another new term I learned was, "Rape jokes." I.E. creepy attempts to find humor in one of the most horrific violent acts against women.

I'd never heard a rape joke before--and while reading various blog posts about rape jokes and getting angrier, frustrated and confused trying to figure out in a distanced, intellectual manner how rape jokes can be accepted and how as a society we can stop rape jokes, an acquaintance of mine posted a rape joke as his facebook status.

To be shocked by reading about something that happened somewhere over the rainbow is one thing; to see a rape joke appear in my facebook feed was another thing entirely. (I'm still shaking with rage and probably won't get any sleep tonight due to the adrenaline.) The question that pounded in my skull was: How could anyone feel so confident and proud of a rape joke that they would post it for all their friends and distant acquaintances to see? How is society conditioning them to believe that such a comment is funny?

I quickly posted "Not funny. Repulsive," and debated whether I should immediately defriend him or if I ought to wait to see if there were any follow-up comments that would need to likewise be shot down. While debating, the posts I've read about slut-shaming came to mind, and the stark contrast between the two events infuriated me even more.

When a woman enjoys her sexuality without hurting anyone else, but someone finds out about it, the response is to insult her, shame her, bring her down and make sure she never does it again. But the response to rape, and "jokes" about rape, which trivialize and normalize violent, traumatic and sometimes life-threatening acts against women is--somehow--to laugh?

We need to change the way our society responds to these occurrences. Its time we start reacting to rape jokes for what they are--as affronts to the dignity of human beings and as the unveiling of a potential danger to society. Its time we start shaming rapists, people who make jokes about rape, people who strike those they claim to love, and those who commit the betrayal of posting private sexual experiences on the internet, INSTEAD of the people they vicitmize. (Do we even know the name of the person who posted Carrie Prejean's video online? Why isn't he being attacked instead of Carrie?)

In the end I decided it would set better precedent to defriend (and thereby ostracize) rather than wait for follow-up comments. The decision was partially influenced by the desire to shame, but also the sinking feeling that its probably safer to stay as far away from anyone who thinks rape is funny, because he is probably more likely to be a rapist.

How do you fight back against rape jokes and slut-shaming?

edit: I changed the name of the title because this post was getting too many comments concerned with porn.

Photo Credit: malec slomas on flickr.com

Boycott "Land of the Lost": Sexual Harassment Isn´t Funny!

BY KAT

I was stuck on my essay.

So I wrote a petition.

Please send to everyone you know!

In the trailer for the movie "Land of the Lost," there is a scene where two people touch the token female character´s breasts when it´s obvious she doesn´t want that attention...but its implied we´re supposed to laugh.

Well guess what Hollywood? We´re not laughing, because sexual harassment isn´t funny!

It´s time we showed Hollywood that sexism isn´t funny:
please sign this petition vowing not to watch the movie "land of the lost" when it comes out on June 5 (or after opening day for that matter)

Send this to as many people you know--there´s not much time before June 5!

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/boycott-movie-land-of-the-lost-because-sexual-harrasment-isnt-funny

Hope's Edge: The Next Diet for a Small Planet

BY KAT

I just got back from a trip during Spring Break, and I'm feeling really inspired.

There were a lot of challenges to my psyche, but I'd like to focus on one: a book.

The book is called "Hope's Edge: The Next Diet for a Small Planet" and I only got halfway through it because it belongs to someone else and I was borrowing it--but even just the first half is really amazing.

One part in particular caught my attention. The authors go to Brazil, and meet up with members of the MST, a group dedicated to re-dividing land, taking land that is not being used from rich landowners and re-allocate it to poor landless who would use the land to feed themselves. When asked about how he can continue with his work, one of the persons interviewed has an interesting response.

He said that people need to be shaken out of the naive belief that nothing will ever change, that they are incapable of making change. This idea is something that is taught to them from childhood to keep things from changing, to allow people in power to stay in power. Maturity, he claimed, comes when people shed off this naive belief that they can do nothing, and take the responsibility to do something.

Isn't it interesting, the author (Franes Lappe) notes, that in the USA we have the opposite idea: the people who believe they can change things are the ones who are "naive," and with maturity supposedly comes cynicism and a sense of powerlessness, that nothing you can do will ever matter and therefore you shouldn't even bother.

Reading this made me feel really, really happy. I believe in activism; I believe in people gathering together for a good cause; I believe in the feminist movements of the past, and I believe that one cannot just wait for someone else, someone "better" to get the job done--that if I don't do it, I can't expect someone else to, and the likelihood of it happening is slim. I'm tired of cynicism; I believe submitting to the belief that things won't change is admitting defeat and pushing away personal responsibility to do what's right.

I can't wait for my $3 copy to arrive from bigwords.com, and I think everyone should read this book :D

Blog copy-paste.

BY KAT

I receive a lot of blog emails, and two stuck out at me this time that I thought would provide interesting reading (for those of you who may be bored or searching a method of procrastination)

This first blog is about how pop culture has been "sympathizing with pimps"--

When rappers Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar for their song "It's Hard Out There for a Pimp" in 2005, it further diluted the ugly reality of pimps, turning them into a pop-culture phenomenon, writes Human Trafficking guest blogger Michele Clark. It might seem funny, but glorifying pimps at parties and awards ceremonies endorses the modern slave trade, and we should be fighting rather than emulating pimp culture.
Is it still hard out there for a pimp?

This second one is concerning a weird environmental practice: killing mountain lions to allow more deers to thrive, so that hunters can kill more deers. Twisted logic? I think so.
WTF 101

I put the links because I think these people are much more educated in the subjects than I am, and have already made their blogs--so they're likely to be far better than any re-hashed version I could come up with.

Inventing an Illness

By KAT (aka Frog)

Does that time of the month make you irritable? Bloated? Full of mood swings? Does this occur to you every month? Well, guess what--you may not be suffering from PMS, but rather, PMDD (premenstrual disphoric disorder)!--And guess what, there's a treatment!

Or so sellers of Prozac would like you to think.

When Prozac's patent was running out, they were somewhat desperate to find a way to keep selling it. Their solution: give it a new name--Sarafem; paint the drug without changing the internal material a new color--from green to pink and purple; find a new target audience, preferably gullible--women; and at last, make up a new sickness: PMDD.

What surprises me the most is that they somehow got away with it--Prozac is not something to be played--in my opinion, Depression is an over-diagnosed condition in the USA, and there are many other ways that would be more effective at treating it. Side effects of Prozac are very real and very dangerous, especially if someone takes it with other drugs--such as coffee. I was on Prozac for awhile, but then I had to stay up late for a test and drank a few teas--and WHAMMO, stuck with a Panic Attack that lasted an hour. As it turns out, I love coffee much more than prozac, and have since discontinued any kind of drug for depression.

For more on Sarafem:
http://www.youtube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3xqCtDdNNQcom/watch?v=b3xqCtDdNNQ

Introducing the Northernmost Californian...

Hello, my name is Kelli and I am likewise honored to be in this group of bloggers. Thus far Kyla is our common link, and rightfully so: from the moment I met her, I knew there was little doubt that she was not only passionate about the world and her journey in it, but also about making connections with people. I am a thirty-six year old wife and mother of two, and while I was Kyla's high school English teacher, I believe we are all at the age where we are peers now.

A little about my background may be in order. I was born and raised in southern California, in a conservative bedroom community north of San Diego, nestled between three towns with military bases. My hometown gained notoriety in the 1990's for the schoolboard's opposition to sex education and the teaching of evolution, and is much the same today. I escaped after high school to an area more in keeping with my liberal views, and further molded much of my world view through my many experiences at UC Davis as a part of a demolition crew, peer counselor, Women's Conference volunteer, and individual major (Cross Cultural Women's Literature.) I became an English teacher and married after college to a wonderful man, and our dreams became each others'. While we have lived all over northern California, we now work hard at building our dream of family and home on a little piece of land at the north end of the Great Central Valley.

In my professional life I have fulfilled all goals but one: to get my Master's degree. I am now learning a great lesson: in my rare year out of the classroom, I am able to meditate on the feminist conundrum of "having it all" and being super woman. I am working to strike a better balance between work and family, between living the life that I want to live and giving to the people I want to give to as well as myself. I am a part of this blog because of Kyla's invitation, and also because I care deeply about many of the issues thus far introduced and discussed. I am a part of this blog because I enjoy writing and the open exchange of ideas, and look forward to the promised rants and discussions we have here as we explore the London-Cali Connection.

This little piggy went to the ocean...

I think PETA would be perhaps 8 million times more effective if they used advertisements like this:

Kingsford Goes to the Beach