Shaming vs. Violation Jokes

As a prelude to this blog post, I should probably mention that through interning with the Feminist Majority Foundation, I've been reading a lot of feminist blogs, in order to write more blogs. (This post will probably appear soon on the FMF Campus blog--when it does, I'll include the link.) Since my formal education has been primarily focused on International Political science and Anthropology, reading all these blogs is doing wonders for my knowledge of matters of importance to women. Now, I've always considered myself a feminist, ever since that boy in first grade told me I couldn't crush a milk can like he could, and suggested using violence to prove his supposed male superiority, but I've generally pursued feminism from my personal--and what I know now, rather uninformed--vantage point. I think describing all the things I've learned would involve reposting all the blogs I've read in the last few months, so I'll let it suffice to say that I've become aware of some of my handicaps in understanding, and will be more actively pursuing understanding a wider variety of vantage points/types of feminism.

There are a few new terms I've learned. first: "Slut-shaming;" that is, publicly or privately insulting a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women. Slut shaming re-enforces the virgin/whore myth of female identity--women are either virgins and, like their virginity, are worth protecting; or, they are whores, and because their hymen has already been broken its okay to break their spirit or their bodies through psychological or physical violence. Slut-shaming is pretty much everywhere (even on twitter), but the two most prominent examples I can think of recently include attacks of Carrie Prejean for a masturbation tape, the disgustingly prominent response that Rhianna deserved to be beaten by Chris Brown, and the weird belief that somehow Miley Cyrus is the worst thing that happened to Hollywood

Another new term I learned was, "Rape jokes." I.E. creepy attempts to find humor in one of the most horrific violent acts against women.

I'd never heard a rape joke before--and while reading various blog posts about rape jokes and getting angrier, frustrated and confused trying to figure out in a distanced, intellectual manner how rape jokes can be accepted and how as a society we can stop rape jokes, an acquaintance of mine posted a rape joke as his facebook status.

To be shocked by reading about something that happened somewhere over the rainbow is one thing; to see a rape joke appear in my facebook feed was another thing entirely. (I'm still shaking with rage and probably won't get any sleep tonight due to the adrenaline.) The question that pounded in my skull was: How could anyone feel so confident and proud of a rape joke that they would post it for all their friends and distant acquaintances to see? How is society conditioning them to believe that such a comment is funny?

I quickly posted "Not funny. Repulsive," and debated whether I should immediately defriend him or if I ought to wait to see if there were any follow-up comments that would need to likewise be shot down. While debating, the posts I've read about slut-shaming came to mind, and the stark contrast between the two events infuriated me even more.

When a woman enjoys her sexuality without hurting anyone else, but someone finds out about it, the response is to insult her, shame her, bring her down and make sure she never does it again. But the response to rape, and "jokes" about rape, which trivialize and normalize violent, traumatic and sometimes life-threatening acts against women is--somehow--to laugh?

We need to change the way our society responds to these occurrences. Its time we start reacting to rape jokes for what they are--as affronts to the dignity of human beings and as the unveiling of a potential danger to society. Its time we start shaming rapists, people who make jokes about rape, people who strike those they claim to love, and those who commit the betrayal of posting private sexual experiences on the internet, INSTEAD of the people they vicitmize. (Do we even know the name of the person who posted Carrie Prejean's video online? Why isn't he being attacked instead of Carrie?)

In the end I decided it would set better precedent to defriend (and thereby ostracize) rather than wait for follow-up comments. The decision was partially influenced by the desire to shame, but also the sinking feeling that its probably safer to stay as far away from anyone who thinks rape is funny, because he is probably more likely to be a rapist.

How do you fight back against rape jokes and slut-shaming?

edit: I changed the name of the title because this post was getting too many comments concerned with porn.

Photo Credit: malec slomas on flickr.com

Boycott "Land of the Lost": Sexual Harassment Isn´t Funny!

BY KAT

I was stuck on my essay.

So I wrote a petition.

Please send to everyone you know!

In the trailer for the movie "Land of the Lost," there is a scene where two people touch the token female character´s breasts when it´s obvious she doesn´t want that attention...but its implied we´re supposed to laugh.

Well guess what Hollywood? We´re not laughing, because sexual harassment isn´t funny!

It´s time we showed Hollywood that sexism isn´t funny:
please sign this petition vowing not to watch the movie "land of the lost" when it comes out on June 5 (or after opening day for that matter)

Send this to as many people you know--there´s not much time before June 5!

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/boycott-movie-land-of-the-lost-because-sexual-harrasment-isnt-funny

Hope's Edge: The Next Diet for a Small Planet

BY KAT

I just got back from a trip during Spring Break, and I'm feeling really inspired.

There were a lot of challenges to my psyche, but I'd like to focus on one: a book.

The book is called "Hope's Edge: The Next Diet for a Small Planet" and I only got halfway through it because it belongs to someone else and I was borrowing it--but even just the first half is really amazing.

One part in particular caught my attention. The authors go to Brazil, and meet up with members of the MST, a group dedicated to re-dividing land, taking land that is not being used from rich landowners and re-allocate it to poor landless who would use the land to feed themselves. When asked about how he can continue with his work, one of the persons interviewed has an interesting response.

He said that people need to be shaken out of the naive belief that nothing will ever change, that they are incapable of making change. This idea is something that is taught to them from childhood to keep things from changing, to allow people in power to stay in power. Maturity, he claimed, comes when people shed off this naive belief that they can do nothing, and take the responsibility to do something.

Isn't it interesting, the author (Franes Lappe) notes, that in the USA we have the opposite idea: the people who believe they can change things are the ones who are "naive," and with maturity supposedly comes cynicism and a sense of powerlessness, that nothing you can do will ever matter and therefore you shouldn't even bother.

Reading this made me feel really, really happy. I believe in activism; I believe in people gathering together for a good cause; I believe in the feminist movements of the past, and I believe that one cannot just wait for someone else, someone "better" to get the job done--that if I don't do it, I can't expect someone else to, and the likelihood of it happening is slim. I'm tired of cynicism; I believe submitting to the belief that things won't change is admitting defeat and pushing away personal responsibility to do what's right.

I can't wait for my $3 copy to arrive from bigwords.com, and I think everyone should read this book :D

Blog copy-paste.

BY KAT

I receive a lot of blog emails, and two stuck out at me this time that I thought would provide interesting reading (for those of you who may be bored or searching a method of procrastination)

This first blog is about how pop culture has been "sympathizing with pimps"--

When rappers Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar for their song "It's Hard Out There for a Pimp" in 2005, it further diluted the ugly reality of pimps, turning them into a pop-culture phenomenon, writes Human Trafficking guest blogger Michele Clark. It might seem funny, but glorifying pimps at parties and awards ceremonies endorses the modern slave trade, and we should be fighting rather than emulating pimp culture.
Is it still hard out there for a pimp?

This second one is concerning a weird environmental practice: killing mountain lions to allow more deers to thrive, so that hunters can kill more deers. Twisted logic? I think so.
WTF 101

I put the links because I think these people are much more educated in the subjects than I am, and have already made their blogs--so they're likely to be far better than any re-hashed version I could come up with.

Inventing an Illness

By KAT (aka Frog)

Does that time of the month make you irritable? Bloated? Full of mood swings? Does this occur to you every month? Well, guess what--you may not be suffering from PMS, but rather, PMDD (premenstrual disphoric disorder)!--And guess what, there's a treatment!

Or so sellers of Prozac would like you to think.

When Prozac's patent was running out, they were somewhat desperate to find a way to keep selling it. Their solution: give it a new name--Sarafem; paint the drug without changing the internal material a new color--from green to pink and purple; find a new target audience, preferably gullible--women; and at last, make up a new sickness: PMDD.

What surprises me the most is that they somehow got away with it--Prozac is not something to be played--in my opinion, Depression is an over-diagnosed condition in the USA, and there are many other ways that would be more effective at treating it. Side effects of Prozac are very real and very dangerous, especially if someone takes it with other drugs--such as coffee. I was on Prozac for awhile, but then I had to stay up late for a test and drank a few teas--and WHAMMO, stuck with a Panic Attack that lasted an hour. As it turns out, I love coffee much more than prozac, and have since discontinued any kind of drug for depression.

For more on Sarafem:
http://www.youtube.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3xqCtDdNNQcom/watch?v=b3xqCtDdNNQ

Introducing the Northernmost Californian...

Hello, my name is Kelli and I am likewise honored to be in this group of bloggers. Thus far Kyla is our common link, and rightfully so: from the moment I met her, I knew there was little doubt that she was not only passionate about the world and her journey in it, but also about making connections with people. I am a thirty-six year old wife and mother of two, and while I was Kyla's high school English teacher, I believe we are all at the age where we are peers now.

A little about my background may be in order. I was born and raised in southern California, in a conservative bedroom community north of San Diego, nestled between three towns with military bases. My hometown gained notoriety in the 1990's for the schoolboard's opposition to sex education and the teaching of evolution, and is much the same today. I escaped after high school to an area more in keeping with my liberal views, and further molded much of my world view through my many experiences at UC Davis as a part of a demolition crew, peer counselor, Women's Conference volunteer, and individual major (Cross Cultural Women's Literature.) I became an English teacher and married after college to a wonderful man, and our dreams became each others'. While we have lived all over northern California, we now work hard at building our dream of family and home on a little piece of land at the north end of the Great Central Valley.

In my professional life I have fulfilled all goals but one: to get my Master's degree. I am now learning a great lesson: in my rare year out of the classroom, I am able to meditate on the feminist conundrum of "having it all" and being super woman. I am working to strike a better balance between work and family, between living the life that I want to live and giving to the people I want to give to as well as myself. I am a part of this blog because of Kyla's invitation, and also because I care deeply about many of the issues thus far introduced and discussed. I am a part of this blog because I enjoy writing and the open exchange of ideas, and look forward to the promised rants and discussions we have here as we explore the London-Cali Connection.

This little piggy went to the ocean...

I think PETA would be perhaps 8 million times more effective if they used advertisements like this:

Kingsford Goes to the Beach

PETA-peeved

By Kat (aka Frog)

I really, really hate PETA. (people for the ethical treatment of animals)

It's not that I have something against animal rights or vegetarianism; on the contrary, I am a vegetarian, slowly moving towards veganism, and I think the current system of animal exploitation to get meat is really horrific, on an animal-rights scale as well as on an environmental and human-rights scale.

But PETA really gives us vegetarians a bad name.

I was inspired to write this rant as I'm working on my paper for my anthropology class, the prompt being, "who are you?" and my response being, "A vegetarian."

To me, one cannot be a vegetarian without also being an environmentalist, a believer in human rights and civil liberties, an active participant in the political process, and someone who otherwise challenges the traditions and expectations society as a whole lumps onto a generation. For me, this challenging of the status quo is intricately linked with my existence as a female; I challenge the world's belief that eating meat is a necessary component of a good life and I challenge the stereotypes and expectations tied to my gender identity and my class.

PETA however, does not apparently agree with my idea of vegetarianism as a "challenge" to existing social norms--they pose naked women in their advertisements to encourage people to go vegetarian, on the premise that "no one will listen to our message unless we sell them sex." Why is it that "sex" always has to be a naked female, and not a male? Why is it that their message sounds apologetic, as though they know what they're doing is wrong, but they do it anyway to supposedly compete or fit in with the barrage of other advertisements we're faced with all the time.

Who is really going to pay attention to animal rights when women's rights are being undermined? Is anyone going to pay attention to the message of the advertisement when they could salivate over a human being turned into an object? It seems to me that by including "sex" in their advertisements, they actually glamourize the products which they try to condemn--if they had pictures of hurt animals, in my opinion, their advertisements would be more effective.

This is a strategy PETA's been taking for awhile, and this frustration against them has been slowly festering for awhile now. I was looking PETA up to help show in my paper that not all vegetarians are the same, and the brief search for more information about PETA was enough to inspire a rant. Their superbowl ad was supposedly so sexist that it couldn't even get aired--but there is speculation that was what PETA was after.

While I was browsing that page and filling up with ire, I saw another link that showed they at one point dressed up like KKK members to compare an organization which selectively breeds dogs to the KKK. Of course, the organization that selectively breeds dogs doesn't rape, torture, maim, or slowly kill the animals with which they work, which shows once again that PETA is merely interested in shock value and not facts.

It's your fault, PETA, that when I tell people I'm vegetarian they think I'm part of some freakish cult; it's your fault that when I say "I don't eat meat" I'm treated as though I'm a child going through a cute rebellious phase that I'll grow out of when I grow older; it's your fault that people think vegetarianism is a joke.

You're a bunch of hypocrites.

Outraged at Prop 8

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

As a Californian, I'm especially outraged that Proposition 8 recently passed, banning same sex marriage. This is not only unconstitutional, it is a breach of human rights and human dignity.

How is it that a heterosexual couple can feel justified in ordering a member of the LGBTQ community to a life without love? "God made me straight and He made you gay, so I get to enjoy my sex and my love, but your challenge is to remain celibate for life." Yeah, that's not bigoted.

And IF homosexuality is a choice, what's wrong with that?

Gay couples are certainly not the downfall of the family. Divorce is. Gay parents will not be the downfall of their children. Abuse and neglect and bad parenting and divorce and intolerance will be.

Separation of church and state. I believe in that. If a religion does not want to recognize gay marriage as legit, whatevs, that's up to the sect. Don't marry them in your church. But making it illegal is breaching minority rights.

I believe in this life we each have a different path to happiness. If you find something that brings you a bit of happiness, follow it. It is right.

*drumrolll please...*

Greetings Earthlings!

I'm the third (thus far) member of this blog, and my name is Kathleen. My main base is San Diego, California, although most of my life I lived in Norcal, the Silicon Valley area.

So what makes me tick? To sum it up, I would quote a webcomic I'm starting up which I've named, "F.eminist E.nvironmentalist V.egetarian H.umor." It was an acronym that actually spelled something--I haven't figured out how to fit "Writing," "Intellectualism," "Politics," and "Poverty alleviation," into that mix. although I suppose I could call the whole comic a PWIP FEVAH. or WH(humanitarian)IPPE(xistentialist)d(rawing)...
I could rant about all these things for hours. Unfortunately, what I should be doing is spending hours on the three research papers I have due in four weeks.

Anywho, How was it that I got invited to this elite circle? To be honest, I'm really honored that Kyla invited me to join in on the friendship that she's had with Mythili for years, especially since comparatively speaking, Kyla and I have only known each other for about two and a half years, and we've only been in the same city for about one year.

Kyla and I met through the women's center at the UCSD campus, initially as strangers that came to recognize each others' faces through our joint participation in the femme-friendly activities held there, and then came to know each other better through the writing group that Kyla started up. Kyla was very up-front about her past with an eating disorder, and with her help and the help of a smack-in-the face from my doctor, I came to terms with the fact that I had one too. I'd like to say I've completely gotten over it, but sometimes I wonder.

In any case, right now I'm putting my anger against "the system" to work as co-President and Head blogger of the Healthy Models Coalition, a group Kyla started to help fight against institutionalized anorexia in the fashion industry, (http://healthymodels.org/) and as a blogger for the Vegetarian club at my university (http://ucsdveg.blogspot.com/)

My posts often take an angry or satirical tone, mostly because the times when I feel compelled to write something are the times when I get angry or satirical. Reader beware.

--Kat, aka Frog. Amphibians need love too :D

NASA Blues

I'm rooting for NASA yet slapping my forehead all at the same time.



Read the commentary here.

I want NASA to explore. Historically, exploration is born of necessity, and nothing is really pushing us to explore right now. People have explored because of political pressures and personal persecution, but never really for the sake of exploring. Which may be why not much is happening on the NASA front lately.

Or it may be because of poor management. NASA is down low on Obama's list of priorities, and honestly, NASA has failed to prove itself. But is this because of lack of funding? Canceled program after canceled program makes me wonder why all this money is being wasted while our schools are in shambles.

I do believe that science for the sake of science begets valuable technology.

For now I am hoping NASA can get its act together, because I hate to see it go down the drain.

My Rant on Global Warming

"It is difficult for a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." -Upton Sinclair


Today I'm thinking about global warming. I really hope the new administration takes it seriously. I know that I come from a school that has played a critical part in the discovery and study of global warming, which is why I've asked other scientifically minded people from other universities what their take on global warming is. The science community gives a resounding YES, global warming is not only real, it is anthropogenic. If you look at all the articles published in peer-reviewed journals (which, if you ask me, are the only reliable source), something like 99% of them agree that global warming is not a joke, and it has been exacerbated by humans. But when you look in the media and newspapers, something like half of them are skeptical that global warming is happening at all, much less that it is caused by humans. I wish I had the exact statistics that my professor used in her lecture. The funny (or sad) thing is that there is this terrible disconnect between what science is telling us and what the media is telling us about global warming.

The real problem with global warming is not a scientific question of what's causing it, but a political question of what should we do about it? People who deny that global warming is real generally are against government regulation of business. So they say global warming is a fraud. That way we won't have to regulate anyone. But the thing is, there are multiple solutions to global warming. We can trade carbon credits, for example. That's a very business-savvy idea.

It frustrates me to no end when I listen to people quote Rush Limbaugh or Dr. Laura as their "scientific" resources that anthropogenic global warming is not a reality.

If you'll note the picture, global warming has shot up in the last century to a height even taller than me!

I saw Al Gore speak at UCSD a couple years back on global warming. Whether you like the man or not, I couldn't deny that he was a gifted public speaker. I liked that that his science was sound and that the layperson could understand it. I urge you to check out An Inconvenient Truth. There's also a rockin' exhibit on global warming at the Birch Aquarium. I know there's a big hubbub about it, but really, the debate is all political.

So what's all the controversy about? It's not among scientists, that's for sure.

Introducing Kyla

I'm Kyla, I'm American, and I love my country, but that doesn't mean I think it's better than every other nation, nor do I endorse everything that takes place in the US. Patriotism does not always correspond with a superiority complex.

Why do I introduce myself this way? Because this is the London-Cali connection, and not all the contributors are American! So first things first, I'll introduce myself by my nationality. Specifically, I live in California. I predict that, wherever life takes me, I will always be a California girl at heart. It is a forward-thinking state, full of mountains and oceans and therapists. I don't surf and I've only seen a celebrity on the street (well, in a restaurant, actually) once. I do live in southern California, quite near LA, though I am not from here. I come from far Northern California, way up near Oregon, in a very conservative town called Redding. Yes, there are conservatives in California.

But this is not about California, not yet anyway. It's about me. Like I said, my name is Kyla. I'm a twenty-three year old student very, very close to graduating - in fact, one Latin course is the only thing between me and my degree in literature/writing. Woot! I am, first, a writer. I want to change the world through writing. I am many other things: I am an environmentalist, a feminist, an animal-lover, an activist, a reader, a student, a teacher, and a woman.

Yes, I am both a student and a teacher right now, about to graduate in just a few months while starting a teaching job at a local middle school. Do wish me luck!

Speaking of middle school, Mythili and I "met" when we were eleven or twelve, the American equivalent of the sixth grade. I was excited to have the internet for the very first time and went about looking for pen pals. And I found Myth! (or did she find me? --no matter.) The amazing thing about our friendship is that it began at such a tender age and has lasted for thirteen years. It's rare that childhood friendships last, I suspect because we all grow up in different ways. Myth and I seemed to grow up in similar ways, if she doesn't mind my taking the liberty to suggest as much. We met in person during my trip to England and Wales after high school graduation, and we clicked as well in person as we did over the net. We love to chat about just about everything - and we thought you might like to hear us chat.

So, here we are. What would you like to hear about, from Californian and English perspectives?

Welcome to the London-Cali Connection!