
There are a few new terms I've learned. first: "Slut-shaming;" that is, publicly or privately insulting a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women. Slut shaming re-enforces the virgin/whore myth of female identity--women are either virgins and, like their virginity, are worth protecting; or, they are whores, and because their hymen has already been broken its okay to break their spirit or their bodies through psychological or physical violence. Slut-shaming is pretty much everywhere (even on twitter), but the two most prominent examples I can think of recently include attacks of Carrie Prejean for a masturbation tape, the disgustingly prominent response that Rhianna deserved to be beaten by Chris Brown, and the weird belief that somehow Miley Cyrus is the worst thing that happened to Hollywood
Another new term I learned was, "Rape jokes." I.E. creepy attempts to find humor in one of the most horrific violent acts against women.
I'd never heard a rape joke before--and while reading various blog posts about rape jokes and getting angrier, frustrated and confused trying to figure out in a distanced, intellectual manner how rape jokes can be accepted and how as a society we can stop rape jokes, an acquaintance of mine posted a rape joke as his facebook status.
To be shocked by reading about something that happened somewhere over the rainbow is one thing; to see a rape joke appear in my facebook feed was another thing entirely. (I'm still shaking with rage and probably won't get any sleep tonight due to the adrenaline.) The question that pounded in my skull was: How could anyone feel so confident and proud of a rape joke that they would post it for all their friends and distant acquaintances to see? How is society conditioning them to believe that such a comment is funny?
I quickly posted "Not funny. Repulsive," and debated whether I should immediately defriend him or if I ought to wait to see if there were any follow-up comments that would need to likewise be shot down. While debating, the posts I've read about slut-shaming came to mind, and the stark contrast between the two events infuriated me even more.
When a woman enjoys her sexuality without hurting anyone else, but someone finds out about it, the response is to insult her, shame her, bring her down and make sure she never does it again. But the response to rape, and "jokes" about rape, which trivialize and normalize violent, traumatic and sometimes life-threatening acts against women is--somehow--to laugh?
We need to change the way our society responds to these occurrences. Its time we start reacting to rape jokes for what they are--as affronts to the dignity of human beings and as the unveiling of a potential danger to society. Its time we start shaming rapists, people who make jokes about rape, people who strike those they claim to love, and those who commit the betrayal of posting private sexual experiences on the internet, INSTEAD of the people they vicitmize. (Do we even know the name of the person who posted Carrie Prejean's video online? Why isn't he being attacked instead of Carrie?)
In the end I decided it would set better precedent to defriend (and thereby ostracize) rather than wait for follow-up comments. The decision was partially influenced by the desire to shame, but also the sinking feeling that its probably safer to stay as far away from anyone who thinks rape is funny, because he is probably more likely to be a rapist.
How do you fight back against rape jokes and slut-shaming?
edit: I changed the name of the title because this post was getting too many comments concerned with porn.
Photo Credit: malec slomas on flickr.com
11 comments:
great post! I've been trying to answer this question (how do you fight back against ___) since the beginning of summer, and it'd hard, because if I think about it too much I'm crying every day, and if I ignore it that sucks. But I do find that I have to put up with a large amount of sexism and other isms if I don't want to lose 75% of my friends...now that I live in a city where I know about, um, two people...it's even harder! Usually as soon as I open my mouth someone shames/ridicules/laughs/etc me into silence. It hurts enough to where I've just been shutting up lately, and I've been writing in private. If I feel like I can say something without getting hurt, I do. I'm still trying to figure out how I can handle all these things.
I read a great article a month or two ago about rape culture. I'll find it and send it to you.
Well, when I say "since the beginning of summer," I mean that I've been intensely focusing on it since then. The question's been on my mind for a while, but it's never felt so urgent to me before.
Hey--don't anyone else post any porn comments, they, like the previous ones, will be deleted.
[B]NZBsRus.com[/B]
No More Sluggish Downloads Using NZB Files You Can Quickly Find HD Movies, PC Games, MP3 Singles, Applications & Download Them @ Dashing Rates
[URL=http://www.nzbsrus.com][B]Newsgroup[/B][/URL]
[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=2][img]http://banners.servized.com/current/gif/ed_720x90_1.gif[/img][/url]
[url=http://old-drugstore.net/]What is/are Zovirax Tablets?[/url]
What are acyclovir tablets or capsules?
ACYCLOVIR (Zovirax®) treats standard types of viral infections, specifically herpes infections. Acyclovir
will not mend herpes infections; it choice cure the sores restore faster and expropriate to relieve the pain or discomfort.
Sometimes acyclovir is conceded to improve bar the infection from coming back. Acyclovir also treats shingles
and chickenpox infections. Generic acyclovir tablets and capsules are available.
What should I communicate my health mindfulness provider before I be involved this medicine?
They destitution to know if you comprise any of these conditions:
•dehydration
•neurological infection
•kidney disease
•seizures (convulsions)
•an bizarre or allergic resistance to acyclovir, ganciclovir, valacyclovir, valganciclovir, other medicines, foods, dyes, or preservatives
•significant or disquieting to receive pregnant
•breast-feeding
[url=http://best-drugstore.aoaoaxxx.ru/][img]http://i079.radikal.ru/0910/b9/3f666eb40896.jpg[/img][/url]
[url= ]Zovirax online doctorspurchase Zovirax cod cash delivery [/url]
buy generic Zovirax no prescriptionBuy Zovirax overnight shipping
[url= ]Zovirax online overnightorder Zovirax online cod [/url]
Zovirax overnight fed exZovirax cheap cod
[url= ]Zovirax no prescription cash on deliverybuy Zovirax [/url]
cheap Zovirax prescriptionsZovirax with next day delivery without prescription with free shipping
[url= ]no perscription Zovirax next daybuy Zovirax online without a prescription and no membership [/url]
cheap Zovirax over nightZovirax shipped overnight without a prescription
[url= ]Zovirax with no prescriptionZovirax rx [/url]
cheap Zovirax next day deliverybuy Zovirax without a prescription overnight shipping
[url= ]Zovirax and overnightZovirax over night [/url]
buy Zovirax online next day deliveryZovirax ups
[url= ]Zovirax by codZovirax overnight US delivery [/url]
Zovirax fedex without prescriptionZovirax doctor
[url= ]Zovirax free saturday deliverycheap Zovirax for sale online no prescription required [/url]
Zovirax non perscriptionZovirax without a rx
[url= ]order Zovirax next daycod Zovirax overnight saturday no prescription [/url]
Zovirax overnight delivery saturdayZovirax shipped COD on saturday delivery
[url= ]Zovirax without a presciptionhow to get a doctor to prescript Zovirax [/url]
order Zovirax without a prescriptionZovirax xr buy online cheap
[url=http://seghan.ru/go.php?sid=35][img]http://s002.radikal.ru/i200/1001/f0/0ddd2280d906.jpg[/img][/url]
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/yaaysik/]where to buy cigarettes in perth [/url]
buy cheap camel cigarettes buy specialty cigarettes buy camel cigarettes in
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/gdrzigo/]to buy duty free cigarettes [/url]
where can i buy electronic cigarettes in appleton wisconsin buying legal cigarettes buy cigarette holder
[url=http://mitglied.multimania.de/rehxicw/]buying cigarettes online legal [/url]
where to buy cigarette filters order european cigarettes buy chesterfield cigarettes
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/cmvaule/]buying online l&m menthol lights cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarettes credit card order cigarettes from mexico is buying cigarettes online safe
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/fpazvmi/]buy luxury cigarettes [/url]
buy cigarettes greek cigarette holder cary nc buy purchase dad buys my cigarettes
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/eaubahi/]buying cigarettes online forum [/url]
buy cigarette in kentucky mail order cigaretts buy bulg e cigarette
[url=http://usuarios.multimania.es/cdreeje/]buy overseas cigarettes [/url]
buy cloves cigarettes buy merit cigarettes buy cheap winston cigarettes
Nice brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you for your information.
You could easily be making money online in the underground world of [URL=http://www.www.blackhatmoneymaker.com]blackhat tools[/URL], Don’t feel silly if you don't know what blackhat is. Blackhat marketing uses alternative or not-so-known avenues to build an income online.
Sup i'm fresh here, I stumbled upon this site I have found It amply accommodating and its helped me out a great deal. I hope to give something back & assist other users like it has helped me.
Thank's, See Ya Later.
Hi-ya i'm fresh here, I hit upon this website I have found It positively accommodating & its helped me out a lot. I hope to contribute & aid other people like its helped me.
Thanks, See Ya About.
Hi, everything is going perfectly here and ofcourse every one
is sharing information, that's genuinely good, keep up writing.
my site > rent apartments in santa monica
Post a Comment